I don’t know if you’ve ever stopped to think about it, but in the web of family, friends, co-workers and acquaintences that surrounds each of us there is one person who believes in you more than any of the others. That isn’t to say that you don’t have a lot of people who offer you outstanding love and support, I’m sure you do, but if you are honest with yourself, you’ll discover that one person is you’re “biggest fan” (BF).

Often your BF will believe in you when no one, not even you, does. Many times your BF believes in you when there is no logical reason to do so. Your BF “knows” you are right, or that you are the biggest/fastest/strongest/smartest even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Sometimes just knowing that your BF believes in you so completely forces you to raise your level of performance beyond what you thought possible in order to avoid dissappointing them. Ocassionally, at the most difficult times, knowing that at least one person loves you and believes in you may be the lone fact that sustains you.

Have you thought about it now? Do you know who your biggest fan is?

I’ve been incredibly fortunate, throughout my life, to have a large group of people who love me, believe in me, hear me and support me (if you know me well enough, you’re probably thinking that doing those things for me would be a full time job for an army… and you might be right). Although I’ve had an abundance of help from a lot of people, I’ve always known that my Grandma was unquestionably my biggest fan.

Some of you know that, from almost the beginning of my trip, my Grandma has been pretty sick. She spent most of the last 2 months in the hospital. Like a lot of people her age, the challenge was not that she had a disease (like cancer) but rather that after 84 years she was simply worn out and her body was failing her. About two weeks ago, doctors decided that there wasn’t anything else they could do for her so they discharged her and sent her home (she was very happy to get to go home). Finally, on Friday she died (I’d be PC and say “passed away” but she wouldn’t like that) in her sleep. As a result, I’m on an airplane to Oklahoma where I’ll spend the week, attend the funeral and help my dad.

Anytime something like this happens it’s sad, but in this case it isn’t tragic… My Grandma had lived a full and complete life and she was prepared to go without regrets and with no miles left in the tank (two facts that I think are the sign of having had the courage to live life the way you want to regardless of how other people feel about it… something I admire and aspire to emulate).

To the very end of her life she remained my biggest fan, tracking my trip (and torturing an entire hospital full of people by telling them every insignificant detail about it and me, her “absolutely perfect” grandson… it’s no wonder they sent her home, they probably couldn’t take anymore bragging!). I was able to talk to her almost every day as I rode cross-country and as she got sicker she began to insist that I keep riding (rather than coming home) saying that my ride was an inspiration to her (the fact is, she knew I was having fun an in typical fashion she put that ahead of her needs). Friday evening when I found out that she was done, I had mixed emotions. On one hand I thought how much I would miss her and the powerful effect she had on me; on the other hand I was relieved because I knew she was satisfied with her life and I was thankful that she didn’t suffer too much.

Saturday morning I woke up and dealt with my feelings the way I deal with almost everything….I rode my bike. As it turns out I had a tailwind (only the second time of the entire trip) and I felt fresh, finally recovered from Leadville; so I started riding in Muskegon and I rode as hard as I could, telling myself I’d ride until I was exhausted. At 100 miles I was surprised that I still felt great. At 126 miles I was happy that I was going to have a new “longest ride of the trip” and “farthest I’ve ever ridden alone”. At 151 miles I was excited that I had a new “longest ride of the year”. At 176 miles I was psyched that I had ridden “my longest ride ever”. Amazingly when I reached my friend Jim’s house in Detroit in the dark at mile 182 I was disappointed that I’d run out of daylight and that Michigan wasn’t wider because I still felt great and I would’ve been happy to have continued riding.

It’s incredible how your mind and emotions can have such a powerful effect on your abilities. It’s even more unreal that someone else’s (your Biggest Fan) beliefs and spirit can have an even greater impact on your life.

I can’t explain how much I’m going to miss my Gram, I’m not yet able to imagine what life will be like without her here. One thing is for certain, as of yesterday I have a new goal… I’m hoping to have the opportunity to repay her gift and give someone else the unending, illogical, immeasurable support that she gave me during the last 35 years.

Take the risk to live a great life without regrets… this is the only chance you will get.

I’ll be back to finish off my ride starting next Saturday. I’ll look forward to talking to you then!

Scott

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 19th, 2008 at 9:36 pm and is filed under Ride Update. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.